Regretfully, due to the necessity of having to protect ourselves, it is important that you read and agree to the following terms before continuing to browse our home on the web.
We’ve kept this as short and as boredom-free as possible. (promise)
- (actually, our website doesn’t even have most of the stuff described here – we just need to ensure that you’d be ok with it if we did have any of it)
Hooooommme … Home Onnnn The Webbbbb…
Our home on the web contains words which refer to topics which some people (not us) might possibly find just the teensiest bit offensive.
If you are under the legal age of consent where you live, or if you like to avoid “those sorts of things”, then there are, ooooh, loads of other places you can go.
If you do choose to carry on, then please be aware that doing so is entirely your own responsibility.
When You Access Our Website, You Agree To This Stuff:
- I am over the legal age of consent where I live, and I am at least 18 years of age. I am solely and entirely responsible for my own behaviour.
- I will keep my access to your website and everything in it private and secure. I will take special care to prevent sharing my access to your website and everything in it with people under the age of 18, and people who might be personally offended by these sorts of things. I agree to refrain from personally distributing any part of your website to anybody.
- I have informed myself about my local laws. If at any time I get confused or am unsure, I will check the law before continuing to access your website. In my community, I am legally allowed to have adult stuff, and I know that this adult stuff is within the bounds of what my community laws allow. I know that transgressing the bounds of this agreement may also mean I am transgressing the laws which govern me.
- I am browsing your website solely and entirely for my own personal recreation, and because I wish to access the stuff you offer here. I will never use my access to your website to the detriment of you or any other person in any way.
- I enjoy explicit portrayals of diverse adult sexuality, including BDSM. I consider that all this stuff is totally inoffensive and completely agreeable.
- I totally understand that any links to other websites which you provide on your website are for convenience only. I agree that you are free from responsibility for any unpleasantness which I may experience in response to the content of those websites. I agree that the content of third party websites is outside your jurisdiction.
- I agree that you have done everything possible to protect me from being offended. I agree that every person associated with your website is free from responsibility for any unpleasant feelings I have regarding your website. If for any reason I become offended whilst browsing your website, I agree that this is solely and entirely my own responsibility, and I agree to close my browser window and completely leave your website immediately.
And The Consent Award Goes To …
I am happy to agree to these terms
I am over the legal age of consent
I am interested in your website and wish to access it – Welcome
I object to these terms and cannot agree to them
I am under 18 years of age
I have no interest in your website – Enjoy Other Internet Places